I get more email intended for Angela White and Anna White than I get for myself. These two clueless bimbos can’t seem to enter their own email address correctly to save their lives. They also seem to really fancy entering contests. As everyone but these chumps knows, all you win in these contests is a vat of spam. Anna’s friends also hate men, and send around all kinds of those “10 Reasons why a Sex in the City marathon is better than a man if you’re a misanthropic couch jockey” joke mails.

Angela, Anna, and whoever signed up for Match.com using my email with the username SteHutch, in case you’re reading this: start checking your email address when you enter it into forms and give it to your friends. Or better yet, please: get off the internet. There are too many idiots on it already.